Prompt Treatment
by Flywoman Returns
Summary: A stitch in time saves nine. Inspired by bridals' recent challenge/contest on Sick!Wilson, but not an official entry for reasons that will shortly become obvious. Dialogue-only, House/Wilson slash implied.


**1. Peanut Butter**

You're home early!

House…

Hmm?

Why do you taste like peanut butter?

Didn't expect you back. And I'm too lazy to cook for one.

I wouldn't have objected to leftovers, you know. Hold on… we're out of bread.

Wait for it…

_You ate it straight out of the jar with a spoon, didn't you?_

You got me. Except for the part about the spoon.

_House_…

Relax, Mr. Cranky-pants. I'll order some takeout.

And we're not watching "Jersey Shore" tonight.

No?

I've got a better idea.

**

* * *

2. Boxershorts** [sic]

Come on, get your damned boxer shorts off. I've got my hands full over here.

Better?

I stand corrected. Pass me the- yeah.

_Sssss… Oh_ yeah. (coughs)

Hang on.

God, don't stop now, you're _killing_ me over here. House. House? Is something wrong?

Not sure. Turn your head and cough again.

What, we're role-playing now? Seriously, you think this is funny?

Cough again.

(coughs) Well, what is it? Don't tell me you felt something.

I think we should schedule some tests first thing in the morning.

**

* * *

3. Blood**

House, why is Wilson having his blood drawn?

PSA test.

Seriously? But that isn't standard practice. He has no family history of prostate cancer, and he's not even forty-five yet.

You know Wilson, always trying to set a good example for his pedes patients.

Knock it off. House, _tell me_. Did you have a specific reason for recommending that he have the test done?

Don't I always?

An anomaly was found during a routine digital exam?

Yeah… let's go with that.

**

* * *

4. Donation**

You came.

Had to keep an eye on things. Wouldn't want any damage done to my favorite piece of real estate because one of those scalpel monkeys got careless.

…thanks.

In fact, I brought you something to wear as a reminder.

"Property of Gregory House M.D."? I'm touched. Hey, where's the other one?

It's not for your _foot_.

Oh, _come on_!

What? It matches your eyes.

No it doesn't.

True. More importantly, it matches _my_ eyes.

Still not wearing it.

By the way, I was thinking… if you need a tissue donation afterwards, I know exactly who to call.

Wait a minute, are you…

He owes you one. No, two. And we already know he's one of the biggest dicks on the Eastern Seaboard.

House, that's not funny.

Oh come on, it's a little bit funny… _Jim_.

**

* * *

5. Recovery**

Brought you a little get-well-soon gift.

Um. Is that doll supposed to be…

Yes, you! With a bandage indicating the affected area. I had it custom made.

It… isn't anatomically correct.

What, not to scale? I gave them the measurements myself.

No, I mean that's not actually where the bandage… forget it.

Admit it, you think it's hilarious. _I saw that!_

_Ow._ You do know where the expression "keeping me in stitches" comes from, don't you?

Shouldn't that be "keeping you out of stitches"?

Go away.

Fine. Call me if you need anything.

I wasn't allowed to keep my cell phone.

Use this.

A dog whistle? But you won't be able to hear it.

True, but Hector will.

Hector's _here_?

Just a temporary loan. Why are you giving me that look?

House… if you need some company while I'm waiting to be discharged…

Don't be ridiculous. I just borrowed him for his ears.

…right.

Go back to sleep, Wilson.

…yeah.

* * *

_**Terms of Challenge/Contest**_

The **theme is Wilson with a tumor.** Your one-shot can be whatever genre you choose,  
fluff, angst, horror (well, if you can think of something XD), you can even write fantasy if you're very creative ;) Or you combine some genres - I don't care, just entertain your fellow Sick!Wilson fans =)  
The story may also play in the future :) Or in an alternate universe! Put the charas wherever you want to have them =)  
Any rating is fine as well!

_Rules?_  
-Write between 500 and 10 000 words  
-**Wilson must have cancer.** (maybe he just found out, maybe he's had it for a long time, he can even discover a second illness,...)  
-You **MUST include the following words** in your one-shot: **peanut butter, boxershorts** and **blood.**  
-You can **NOT** include Sam in the one-shot  
_(This is because I'll pick the one-shot I liked best and the winner will get a prize. Now some people know how obsessed I am with Wilson/Sam, so it wouldn't be fair to the others.  
Apart from that I'd just end up drooling all over my keyboard if there was Wilson/ Sam in the one-shot and I wouldn't be able to focus anymore.)_  
-Apart from Wilson and Sam you can include any character you want  
- Please no House/Wilson slash (While I'm perfectly fine with people shipping them, it's not really what I love or would pick as the winning story :] I really do enjoy House/Wilson close friendship though!)  
-Your one-shot **MUST be written for this contest!** Don't submit one-shots you've already written before. And you can only participate with your OWN creations. I think that goes without saying.  
-I'll set the **deadline to March 25th GMT+1**


End file.
